Yes to Everyone, No to Yourself? People-Pleasing and the Holidays
Do the holidays leave you saying yes to everyone but yourself? For many of us, people-pleasing turns all the way up this time of year. Our new blog post explores the fawn response at the holidays and shares five gentle ways to protect your peace and actually enjoy the season.
What If You Stopped Fighting Your Feelings - and Finally Found Peace?
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy — ACT (said as one word, like "act") — invites you to do something that might sound strange at first: stop fighting your feelings and start building a life that matters anyway.
The Fine Art of Fawning: When “Yes” Becomes Your Default Setting
Psychologically speaking, fawning is a trauma response where we attempt to avoid conflict or harm by appeasing others. Dr. Pete Walker, who identified fawn as the fourth trauma response, explains that fawning develops when fighting, fleeing, or freezing won't keep us safe. So instead, we become expert observers, constantly scanning for what others want and need, while our own desires quietly fade into the background.
How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty (Yes, You Can Say No)
Most of us were raised to be helpful, accommodating, and available—basically human doormats with good manners. We learned that being "good" meant putting everyone else's needs before our own. Add in a sprinkle of people-pleasing tendencies and a dash of fear that everyone will hate us forever, and boom: you're staying at a party you hate, helping someone move for the third time this month, and wondering why you're exhausted.
The guilt comes from a belief that our needs matter less than other people's comfort. Spoiler alert: they don't.